oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
only if we run a train.
done.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
