There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
