I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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