So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
