so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
