1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
