Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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