Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
