kristin has been a bad kristin
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
