East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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