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• (512): View more from Texas

  She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.

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• (619): View more from California

  went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.

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• (631): View more from New York

  Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.

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• (805): View more from California

  WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH

  (1-805): View more from California

  budget cuts

  (805): View more from California

  YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS

  (1-805): View more from California

  budget cuts are serious business

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Did I run away from you last night?

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?

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• (447): View more from

  She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  You live and learn.

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