Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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