ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
