Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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