Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
