brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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