i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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