id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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