Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
