I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
