...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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