I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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