I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
