see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
