tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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