I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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