The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
