i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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