I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
