I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
