You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
