at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Ketchup is God's man juice
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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