Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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