Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
honey bunches of taint.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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