I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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