I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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