definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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