I puked a lego.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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