Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I have feelings that need drinking.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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