nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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