I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
