how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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