Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
