Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
They took my balls.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
