this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
