Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize