I just saw a hot homeless man
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
