dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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