guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
