Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
